New Friends

We moved to San Diego just about 10 months ago. I can’t lie and say it was a smooth transition, because it really wasn’t. Neither of us wanted to stay in Oregon, and N wanted to return to San Diego, where she went to undergrad. She applied for a job, got it, and we jumped on the chance to try somewhere with less rain and more sunshine. It may have been a bit impulsive, but we knew we needed to move somewhere (the grey skies were not good for N’s mood). We also hoped that having at least a loose network of connections down here would help, and it truly has. However, have you ever heard the expression that you can never move back to somewhere you left, because the place (and people) will have changed (including yourself). It’s true.

We struggled to find people who like to do the same kinds of things we do, and people who don’t care all that much about wearing a lot of makeup, making sure their skinny jeans are skinny enough, and being “seen” at the right bars and clubs. We’ve never been like that, and we’re never going to be. We have plenty of people to meet up with and get invitations to parties, dinner, drinks, etc. regularly, but we still felt kind of lonely here – we missed our Oregon friends.

A couple of weeks ago we met a friend for a beer at the new-ish hipster bar (as hipster as SoCal can be…this is not Portland). I noticed a couple of women walk by who I recognized from a Halloween party last year. I mentioned it to our friend, and she immediately chased them down to offer a seat at our picnic table, because they were evidently searching for seating at the communal tables. We immediately hit it off and found that our senses of humor, along with our values, were remarkably similar. They are fun, funny, and genuine people. We exchanged numbers and ended up getting together a week later for dinner. They wore lounge clothes (as suggested) and we spent about 4 hours talking, laughing, telling each other about our families, and eating. Is it bad that I consider one’s willingness to wear sweats in public a desirable characteristic? Why is that no longer the norm after college?

N and I joke that it was friend-love at first sight, if that is even a thing. Have you ever had the experience when you just connect with another person or couple (in a platonic way) and can tell you’ll get along? I think it’s hard for couples to make couples-friends, generally speaking, because there is often one person that you really like, and the other is…meh. Single friends are great, but it takes some work to make sure nobody feels like a third (or fifth) wheel. So, we’re feeling very lucky so far this year to have met great new friends. It definitely makes a place feel more comfortable to have people around that you really care about.


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