Colorado doctors are apparently not so interested in using sperm that has not been quarantined for six months. We hoped that one of several clinics we contacted would work with us, but no such luck. That leaves us relying on our rogue fertility specialist in LA who is willing to actually follow FDA guidelines and not insist on additional arbitrary restrictions on known donor arrangements. For those not keeping up with federal law, anonymous sperm needs to be frozen for six months with the donor tested at the end of six months to ensure no STI’s or other issues. Known donors need only be tested within 7 days of the donation. We have grudgingly discovered that nearly every clinic in SoCal and Colorado has decided to enforce the six month quarantine, even though it’s not required. Or even encouraged. Even more infuriating, many clinics recognize and acknowledge that they aren’t required to quarantine, but won’t consider a waiver or changing their policy.
This leaves us in a funny position of either waiting 5 more months (boo) or attempting to time an insemination when I can be in LA. Ideally my wife would be there too, but that adds an interesting wrinkle. I have insisted that she really doesn’t need to come and that the iui will likely be as dull as a dentist appointment. She is adamant that we at least try to fly her out when the smiley turns solid. Of course I would LIKE her to be there, but it seems silly to me to buy plane tickets when we don’t really know when I will ovulate.
For those of you who have used an iui, is it worth it to wait or buy last-minute tickets for her to be there? Will she miss anything magical? Is it more or less exciting or painful than a dentist appointment? Would you consider missing your partner’s iui if you had to work or were in another state? What do you suggest we do?
So, my last post was a long story about how we would be transitioning to a whole new living situation. Well, the transition is finally coming to a close. Some highlights include: my wife somehow tolerating living with my parents for almost two months now, the dogs being absolutely thrilled to be living at my parents’ house (3 acres in the country north of Boulder), me living with a 65 year-old professional puppeteer (who I met via craigslist) while I am still working in San Diego Mondays through Fridays (more on him in a future post), and us forking over a whole lot of cash to have our brand new donor deposit six “samples” at a doctor’s office in LA.
As this year closes, I will start spending just 8-10 days/month in San Diego in January. That will be a VERY welcome change from flying back and forth every single weekend. My employer has an office in Denver, so I will work out of that location most of the time. My wife is absolutely loving her new job, so I think the giant shift has been worth it. Somewhat surprisingly, she is actually enjoying living in Colorado. I feared that my southern California sun worshipper would have a very rough time moving to a new place just as winter arrived. And, it should be noted that her first weekend brought a blizzard and at least 10 inches of snow. We bought a Forrester for her in the midst of the move so that she felt a little bit more comfortable driving in the snow (which we didn’t anticipate arriving until later in the winter), but after a tearful and very tense phone call as she navigated a slippery drive home from work on her third day (at about 4 miles an hour 🙂 ), we promptly dropped about $800 on snow tires to help her feel a little more confident. I think she has also been singlehandedly supporting the Patagonia store on Pearl Street mall, but she isn’t complaining about the cold, so I don’t mind.
In baby making news, we are about to get back in the saddle, er, stirrups, as they say. Another long story short – we found a great new donor. He is a bright-eyed and bushy-tailed chap in his early twenties. He is very sweet, smart, analytical, and cautious, so we went the “directed donor” route through a fertility clinic. That means they do a bunch of tests on him and his swimmers, freeze the goods, and we use them for IUI’s. In theory, that process is a bit more clean, legally speaking. We started down the path with him when we were still living and working in SoCal, and now here we are (mostly) living in Colorado. So the next task at hand is to find a new doctor who will receive our little frozen friends and help us insert them at an opportune time.
I’ll leave you with that for now. Because I haven’t written in so long, I think I could ramble on for a few more hours, but my television friend Dexter is calling. Here are a few photos from a weekend in November.