IUI…Like a dentist appointment, right?

Colorado doctors are apparently not so interested in using sperm that has not been quarantined for six months. We hoped that one of several clinics we contacted would work with us, but no such luck. That leaves us relying on our rogue fertility specialist in LA who is willing to actually follow FDA guidelines and not insist on additional arbitrary restrictions on known donor arrangements. For those not keeping up with federal law, anonymous sperm needs to be frozen for six months with the donor tested at the end of six months to ensure no STI’s or other issues. Known donors need only be tested within 7 days of the donation. We have grudgingly discovered that nearly every clinic in SoCal and Colorado has decided to enforce the six month quarantine, even though it’s not required. Or even encouraged. Even more infuriating, many clinics recognize and acknowledge that they aren’t required to quarantine, but won’t consider a waiver or changing their policy.

This leaves us in a funny position of either waiting 5 more months (boo) or attempting to time an insemination when I can be in LA. Ideally my wife would be there too, but that adds an interesting wrinkle. I have insisted that she really doesn’t need to come and that the iui will likely be as dull as a dentist appointment. She is adamant that we at least try to fly her out when the smiley turns solid. Of course I would LIKE her to be there, but it seems silly to me to buy plane tickets when we don’t really know when I will ovulate.

For those of you who have used an iui, is it worth it to wait or buy last-minute tickets for her to be there? Will she miss anything magical? Is it more or less exciting or painful than a dentist appointment? Would you consider missing your partner’s iui if you had to work or were in another state? What do you suggest we do?

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11 responses

  1. My wife wasn’t at my latest IUI. She always felt awkward going since she wasn’t really adding anything tangible to the event although I definitely appreciated her company.

  2. Yeah I agree with decaf & llbd. If it were a guaranteed conception moment, then by all means it would be magical and for some totally worth the added expense. My DW hasn’t attended most of mine (in the same city) because it just stopped making sense for her and me to both be missing so much work for a 2 minute procedure. Good luck with whatever you choose!

  3. It is honestly just like a pap test. Nothing exciting. You go in, they put in the speculum, put it a tube and press the plunger. Likely about 5 minutes. The only thing my wife would have been sad about missing is actually pushing the sperm plunger. My opinion is that is not worth it. I would take the money and buy a vitamix instead. 🙂

  4. I went to every one of Callie’s IUI’s, but I was local, and took a 20 min drive. I wouldn’t fly out. It’s not worth the cost to sit in an office for all of 7 minutes and wait for the Dr. to day, “All done”. Sorta lack luster…But it’s really on you guys. If you want her there and it’s that important then go for it, but otheotherwise it’s not necessary…

  5. Adding to the chorus of “not worth the expense” comments. I went to both my wife’s IUIs and while there were some sentimental reasons to be in the room, I think the practical reasons not to are much more compelling, given your situation. My wife came to 3.5 of my 5. I did appreciate having a hand to squeeze during the various insertions, but that alone would not be worth the cost of plane tickets to me. Plus, it may be worth noting that the two times I got pregnant were the two times she wasn’t in the room with me. And I miscarried the pregnancy that she was in the building but not the room for. So…practicality + superstition = one more vote for Vitmax

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