Luke Potter

That is the fictitious name we gave potential donor #3. This is the first donor we have considered whose name we don’t actually know. The first two were known to us, having met for the express purpose of arranging donation. The first donor was a quiet slightly heavy, but overall healthy fellow who was approaching 35, if I remember correctly. We tried using his sperm at home 6 or 7 times. Never had any luck. The second donor was a tall, adventurous entertainment exec of about 26. He very generously donated at the clinic in LA to stock up vials for future use. We got to try one IUI with his swimmers, which obviously didn’t take. The rest of the crop are stuck in LA, though we are still researching options to circumvent the RE’s office and have them sent directly to us.

Given the latest hurdles, we decided it would be best to prepare for the possibility that the frozen batch may never make it out of California. We started researching banks and donors, making the infamous spreadsheet showing costs, family limits, availability of photos, etc. My favorite clinic (because they will ship directly to the recipient without doctor’s approval) is in the northwest. However, their supplies are low, and it seems that most donors won’t be available for 2-5 months. Our second choice clinic brought us to donor #3. If we have to go this route, we have chosen him to be the “open identity” donor. We named him “Luke”, because that is what his baby pictures look like to us, and “Potter” because he is of British descent and loves the Harry Potter series. From what we can tell, he is smart, funny, has good values, and was a cute baby/little kid. Of course we have glamorized him in our minds, and are picturing someone with the facial features of a model and the brains of a mensa member.

Is it weird to name a donor? We wanted something to call him, other than “the donor” so it seemed appropriate. I guess it may not be any more strange than naming an unborn child. And really, who wants to say “oh! the fetus just kicked.” Obviously, it will be a surprise when we one day learn his real name, but for now, we will call him Luke Potter and believe all good things about him. We will NOT likely tell any future kids about his fake name in order to avoid confusion, at least until they are old enough to understand.

So, we press forward with Luke Potter and wait for the next cycle to begin…


12 responses

  1. Do you have any way to get a fresh sample. I would love to help you out with what I’ve learned along the way. I totally think you should find a local sperm donor and get a fresh sample to inseminate yourselves. Not only will it potentially save you money, but also it will be something you two can do TOGETHER in the privacy of your home. I know not all couples can do this at home, so if you can’t excuse me butting my head in. I just know that in our case, we conceived the first time in a clinic. The last two were done ourselves, and now I am punching myself in the head for wasting so much money/time/energy the first time around. Anyhow if I can help email me and I can share how we did it ourselves. Best wishes friend

    • Unfortunately, we have not found ANY donors in our area to try a known donation. I think my wife is over trying that route though. I think she wants to pursue the fastest, most direct route to pregnancy, even if it is more expensive.

      • I TOTALLY get it. It’s worth it in the end. I’m feeling someown will be pregnant within the year. Baby dust your way.

  2. I think it’s totally normal to name the donor. We did as well! Good luck in your search. I hope you’re able to transport the stuff from LA, but it sounds like you have a great backup plan.

  3. We named our donor Lefty for the sole reason that he’s lefthanded… Much less creative than you!

    One of the things that has made an anonymous donor feel less anonymous to me is connecting with a large community of donor siblings. The ability to see the resemblances between them has really fleshed out the image I have of our donor.

  4. You know, lots of times for a sperm bank to ship sperm to you, all you need is a DR. signature. It doesn’t specify what kind of doctor. I would check with my OB and see if she would sign the release paperwork, considering that it’s coming from a bank. She doesn’t necessarily have to know all of the details behind the donation. Try it before you spend any more money on the banks…and also, we ALWAYS named our donors funny names like that. We had 4 different donors, (one known, and the rest now) but even our known donor had a nickname too! It’s fun to do and it gives them a little personality…

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