Chemical Pregnancy

My wife’s period started on Saturday. I harassed the heck out of her, “are you SURE it’s full flow? do you have cramps? is it just spotting? what color?” She assures me that it’s an actual period. That puts us back at CD4, on the third attempt at an unmedicated IUI.

Initially, we intended to do just one unmedicated IUI, but our clinic requires you to have an HSG before using clomid or femara. The clinic also requires you to take a month off of trying to have an HSG. I know that this doesn’t make any sense, but it is what it is. When the first IUI didn’t work, we decided that we didn’t want to miss the opportunity for the baby to have a September birthday (we both really like September), so we pressed forward with natural try #2. After this last cycle, and a chemical pregnancy, we decided to just push forward with ONE more natural cycle. I have read that women are very fertile the cycle after a chemical pregnancy, so we’re going to go with that unscientific theory and try one more time. If it doesn’t work, we’ll pause for the HSG. At that point, we might take one more month off to avoid a Christmas birthday. I have always felt bad for kids who have their birthdays overshadowed by the holidays. Is this silly? If you have a December or early January birthday and love it, please tell me.

The only other consideration that is haunting me at the moment is how many vials it’s going to take to make the sibling(s). I REALLY want to have three kids. (I would have six, if I could…) My wife is pretty much on board with three. (She would probably prefer two, but she isn’t too resistant to three). We have eight vials left to make 1-2 more kids. That sounds like plenty, right? And it also sounds like so few! Our donor is all sold out, though I have asked the bank to contact me if any vials get returned.

Anyhow, we push onward, enjoying the day-to-day with our miniature daughter. She’s just crossed the 11 lb threshold at 7 months, though she also just started wearing 9-month jammies because she’s so long. She has been sitting independently for about a month, rolls both ways, and loves to stand, holding on to things. She isn’t making any movements toward crawling, which is fine with me, frankly. She’ll get there some day, and when she does, keeping track of her will be 900x harder. She also poops on the toilet with 95% reliability, is TRYING to figure out the solid food thing, and has started to enjoy reading books rather than just gnawing on them and trying to tear pages. Other new interest: swinging.

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7 responses

  1. I got pregnant with our second our first try after a chemical. That being said, don’t be worried if her cycle is wonky. Mine was and we ended up skipping the wonky cycle so we didn’t waste a vial. I think it’s common for cycles to get screw up post chemical pregnancies. Good luck!

  2. IT’s a bummer they won’t do an IUI after an HSG, as I’ve also heard that people are often quite fertile following that procedure. I’m hoping you won’t have to go that route though – I know lots of folks have HSGs with no issue, but it was terribly painful for me so I don’t wish it on anyone!
    Also, since we are in this position – as much as it can feel imperative for the kiddos to have the same donor (it felt SO IMPORTANT to us), I also think it’s good to remember that biology doesn’t make a family and, if you end up having to use a different donor, your kids will still be siblings! We’ve had to do some reckoning with this idea and it’s been a tough but important reminder to ourselves.

    • This is such a good reminder! One thing that birthing a baby taught me is that I could (will!) love any little dumpling that comes into our lives. I love our daughter to pieces, but it’s crystal clear to me that it’s not because she came out of me. The biological connection is MUCH less of an issue than I ever knew (not that I ever thought it was super important).

  3. I had the EXACT same thought process regarding birthdays. September is my favorite month out of the year, and I was very excited to possibly have a baby in September. Now, if my next transfer goes well, I’ll have a baby in early November, which I’m slowly coming to terms with, even though it might not pan out anyway. Then, if the transfer doesn’t work out, I plan to take off a couple of months to hold out for a February birthday at the earliest. My brother was born on Dec 19 and my dad was born on Dec 21 and they always complained about people forgetting their birthdays, because of the holidays. Plus, as a kid, it’s nice having the presents spread out throughout the year. And yes, presents ARE everything! 🙂

    • Haha, I thought about us waiting until February too! I’m not sure if it’s worse to have a birthday in mid-December, when everyone is distracted by Christmas, or mid-January, when everyone is still burned out! I agree about the present spread too – I’m a July birthday, and I liked having them spread out.

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